Nobody's Fool
by arysa13
Summary: Clarke sees Bellamy at a bar and regrets breaking up with him
1. Chapter 1

Clarke ducked her head as she walked through the familiar doors of the bar she'd been frequenting these past four weeks. She slipped into a dark corner by the bar, her usual spot, and waited for the bartender to notice her. The woman was looking for her of course, Clarke had been there every Friday and Saturday night since she'd been back in town, sitting in the same spot and ordering the same drink. Anya brought her the standard Jack and coke and Clarke handed her some money.

"You must be a sucker for punishment," Anya muttered as she handed Clarke her change.

"Don't know what you're talking about," Clarke sniffed. She wasn't about to open up to the bartender. As far as she was concerned it was bad enough Anya knew her name and drink order, she didn't need to know about all Clarke's personal problems.

"Whatever you say," Anya rolled her eyes. "Look, here he comes," Anya nodded her head towards the tall dark figure that had just entered the bar. Clarke pursed her lips at Anya and the bartender rolled her eyes again before going off to serve someone else.

Clarke's eyes returned to the man who'd just entered the bar with the kind of confident swagger that made everyone in the room turn to look at him. Clarke's stomach clenched as he ran his fingers through his tousled hair and she wondered, not for the first time, why she kept coming back to this place.

She'd been surprised the first time she'd seen Bellamy in the bar, though she really shouldn't have been. He'd always lived in this town, after all. She was the one who was practically a stranger now. Despite that fact, Bellamy hadn't seemed surprised to see her at all. In fact, she wasn't sure he even knew she was there, though she was sure their eyes had met for a second. But there was no trace of recognition in his glance, and Clarke wondered if she'd changed that much, or whether Bellamy was just pretending not to know her so that he didn't have to talk to her. She wouldn't blame him.

Since then, she'd taken to sitting in the corner where she was pretty sure he'd never notice her. She never had the courage to go up and speak to him. He obviously didn't want to talk to her, and she didn't want to suffer the embarrassment of being rebuffed by him.

But Anya had been right, she _was_ a sucker for punishment, so she kept returning to this same dingy bar, knowing he'd be there. It was something of a contradiction that she turned up just so she could see him, and yet it pained her so much to do so that she ended up drinking her weight in alcohol, trying to drown out her heart.

 _God, he looks good,_ Clarke thought as he strode over to the other side of the bar. She couldn't help but notice that almost every pair of eyes followed him, including her own. She felt a pang of regret, something not unfamiliar to her lately. It was quickly followed by jealousy as he gave a flirtatious wink to Anya as she handed him his drink. She knew Bellamy wasn't really into Anya though, he flirted with every girl who came into the bar. Clarke wondered who would be the object of his affections tonight. She scanned the room to see if she could figure it out before he did.

There was a nervous looking girl with dark hair sitting at a table with a friend who kept glancing at him from across the room, and Clarke was sure he'd noticed. Sure enough , Clarke watched as Bellamy whispered something to Anya and Anya handed a drink to a young waitress who took it across the room to the nervous girl.

The girl looked surprised and pleased to be receiving attention from the handsome guy at the bar. Okay, handsome didn't really begin to do him justice, but that wasn't something Clarke was happy to admit to herself. It wasn't long before Bellamy himself followed the drink he had sent over and begin chatting to the girl.

"That's Maya, she comes here about once every two weeks to catch up with her friend," Anya appeared at Clarke's side, pouring her another drink.

"I don't care," Clarke responded flatly. She suspected Anya secretly liked to stir her up and mess with her head, she was always filling Clarke in on what Bellamy was up to, and giving irrelevant and unwanted snippets of information on the girls he was flirting with. Clarke handed Anya some money so that the bartender would leave her alone.

"Maybe you should just set up a tab," Anya said as she went to serve someone else. Clarke downed her drink quickly as she watched Bellamy out the corner of her eye (okay, so her eyes were glued to him). He held out his hand to Maya and she took it graciously standing up as he led her out to the empty dancefloor. It was his standard routine, Clarke had noticed. He'd pick out a girl, any girl, he didn't seem to have a type, send them a drink and then pull them out for a dance. Sometimes there were other people dancing but Clarke suspected he enjoyed it more when he and his partner were the only ones.

Maya was laughing self consciously as Bellamy swung her arms, trying to get her to loosen up. He whispered something into her ear and Maya nodded before heading over to the jukebox to choose a song. Clarke tried to predict what she'd pick, as she usually did. She hadn't been right once. Clarke decided Maya would probably choose something poppy like Katy Perry, but she was proved wrong once again as Norah Jones started playing through the speakers.

Maya turned back to Bellamy and he nodded approvingly, causing Maya to look quite pleased with herself. Somebody out of sight dimmed the lights on cue and Anya handed Clarke another drink.

"This bar sucks," Clarke muttered.

"You keep coming here," Anya reminded her, and Clarke scowled.

Out on the dance floor Maya seemed to melt into Bellamy's arms as they kind of swayed to the music without any kind of rhythm. A few other couples joined the pair and some guy even had the nerve to ask Clarke to dance but she just glared at him until he went away. Other than that brief encounter, Clarke's eyes never left Bellamy and Maya. The song finally ended, after what seemed like an eternity, and Maya returned to her table, followed by Bellamy.

Clarke couldn't bear to watch any longer, and she turned back to the bar where Anya had plonked another drink in front of her.

"Thanks," Clarke muttered. Much as the bartender irritated her, she always had a drink ready at the right time.

Half an hour later Maya left with her friend, hugging Bellamy goodbye. Clarke tried not to let the relief show on her face that they weren't leaving together. Bellamy wandered off to the bathroom and Clarke took that as her cue to leave while he wasn't paying attention.

"See you next week," Anya called after her.

* * *

As it turned out, Anya wouldn't see Clarke the following week, as Clarke had made other plans. Well, Clarke's mother had made other plans for her.

"Raven called me, since you won't pick up when she rings." Abby told her daughter. "She wants to know when you're visiting." Clarke had become friends with Raven while they'd been at university together, and a month after graduating and moving home, Clarke still hadn't bothered to see her.

"Never," Clarke responded to her mother. It wasn't that she didn't want to see Raven, it's just that she didn't want to have to talk about her mundane life in her small town with her crap job and nonexistent love life. Raven had scored a job at NASA right out of university and was living with her boyfriend Wick in a fancy apartment because they both made a killing at their jobs. To say Clarke was jealous would be an understatement.

"Okay, well I told her this weekend," Abby informed Clarke.

"Mom!" Clarke whined. "What exactly did you say?"

"I just said you had no plans and she could pick you up at the train station," Abby said.

"You can't make me go," Clarke said stubbornly.

"Clarke, please go," Abby said, a concerned look on her face. "I'm really worried about you. All you do is go to work and that bar. Alone. You never see your friends."

"I don't have any friends," Clarke scowled.

"Raven is your friend," Abby pointed out. "Just go. It will be fun," she urged. Clarke sighed dramatically.

"Fine."

Raven picked Clarke up from the train station with Wick in tow. She hugged Clarke excitedly, grinning like a maniac as Wick picked up Clarke's bags.

"I can carry it," Clarke told him.

"You're the guest, which means I do the carrying," Wick grinned.

"Come on, we have so much to catch up on!" Raven grabbed Clarke's hand and dragged her to the car. Raven and Wick had a mini argument about who was driving, which Raven won, before they set off and Raven began gushing about her perfect life.

"So, what's been happening with you?" she asked once she'd finally stopped talking.

"Not a lot," Clarke responded.

"Come on, there must be something! We've hardly spoken in over a month," Raven coerced.

"Seriously, all I do is work at the supermarket and sometimes I go to a bar on the weekends," Clarke shrugged.

"Cool," Raven nodded, though Clarke knew it was the opposite of cool. "How's your mom?"

"She's fine. She started seeing this guy Marcus. He's alright I guess," Clarke told her. Raven nodded and Wick launched into a story about how one of his mates had dated a guy called Marcus who turned out to be totally insane.

They reached Raven and Wick's apartment where the couple showed her to her room. The place was practically brand new and the room that Clarke was staying in could have been the master bedroom it was so nice. It wasn't though, as Raven showed off the master bedroom and ensuite.

"So what are you doing next weekend?" Raven asked Clarke as they sat on the king sized bed, Wick leaving the two alone to catch up.

"Umm…" Clarke started.

"I thought maybe I could come and visit you. See your mom. Jasper and Monty might like to come too," Raven suggested. Clarke raised an eyebrow.

"My mom told you she's worried about me, didn't she?" Clarke asked suspiciously.

"Well…" Raven said guiltily.

"Raven, I swear I'm fine!" Clarke assured her. "I'm just bored. I need to save up some money and get out of that town."

"If you say so," Raven nodded. "So… are you seeing anyone?"

"Nope," Clarke laughed.

"Damn. Okay, new topic. Did you know Monty's mom walked in on him and Miller and Monty was certain she was going to throw Miller out of the house but instead she made him stay for dinner. Monty said it was super awkward," Raven laughed. Clarke suddenly felt a whole lot better.

* * *

Despite Clarke assuring her she was okay, Raven decided to visit her the following weekend, bringing Jasper and Monty along with her.

"Party weekend!" Jasper yelled as he barreled through the door to Clarke's house on Friday night. "I hope you've got something good planned, Clarke!"

As it turned out, Clarke had nothing at all planned, much to the disappointment of her friends.

"We could watch a movie?" Clarke suggested lamely. Jasper looked crushed.

"What about that bar you said you sometimes go to Clarke?" Raven remembered.

"Oh, that bar?" Clarke said awkwardly. "It's not that good." She did not want Raven finding out she frequented a bar that Bellamy was always at. Raven would think she was pathetic. Which, incidentally, she kind of was.

"Then why are you there every weekend?" Abby sold her out. Clarke glared at her.

"Better than sitting here all night," Monty mused.

"Yes!" Jasper cheered.

"The Mountain?" Raven said skeptically as the taxi pulled up outside.

"I told you it's not that good," Clarke reminded her.

"We'll see," Raven replied.

The four of them got out of the taxi after paying the driver and walked inside. Clarke glanced around and thanked her lucky stars Bellamy wasn't there yet, though she was quite a bit later than she usually arrived, seeing as Raven had made her actually get dressed up and put on make-up.

"Let the party start!" Jasper yelled as he made his way to the bar, causing several people to look up from their drinks.

"A jukebox? This really is oldschool," Raven grinned, following Jasper to the bar. Monty went after them and Clarke groaned as she reluctantly brought up the rear. Of course Jasper wanted to be front and centre.

"A jug of sangria please!" Jasper said to Anya. "And I don't know what these guys are having," he grinned. Anya stared at him unimpressed. "I'm joking," he faltered. "We'll have four glasses with that."

"We don't make sangria," Anya told him.

"Fine, I guess we'll just have beer," Jasper sighed. Anya nodded and grabbed a jug which she started filling from the tap.

"Finally get some friends Clarke?" Anya asked her as Clarke sat beside Monty.

"I guess," Clarke replied. She just hoped Anya wouldn't say anything about Bellamy.

"You gonna drink this or do you want the usual?" she placed the jug of beer on the counter and went to grab some glasses.

"I'll just drink this," Clarke told her.

"Suit yourself." Anya grabbed four glasses and Jasper paid for the jug. Since Clarke didn't bother introducing Anya to her friends, Raven decided to introduce herself.

"I'm Raven, and this is Jasper and Monty," she said.

"Sweet," Anya nodded, clearly not interested at all. She looked up at the door then as it opened and someone entered. "Right on cue," she smirked at Clarke.

Bellamy strutted into the bar, dressed to kill as usual, and Clarke wished she were back in her corner where she couldn't be noticed.

"Oh my god, who is that?" Monty's jaw dropped as he followed Anya's gaze.

"He's nobody," Clarke said quickly.

"Don't you know him Clarke?" Anya said innocently. Clarke shot her a warning look.

"Do you, Clarke?" Monty asked her.

"What do you care? You have a boyfriend," Clarke pointed out.

"Pretty sure that's Clarke's ex, Bellamy," Raven interjected, giving Clarke a quizzical look. Bellamy looked their way, and Clarke knew it was impossible for him not to have seen her, yet his gaze grazed passed her like she wasn't there at all. Clarke's heart sank.

"You know, on second thoughts Anya, I think I'll take that Jack and Coke. Hold the coke and make it a double," Clarke said.

* * *

Raven had dragged Clarke to the bathroom for "girl talk" and left Monty and Jasper by the bar.

"Clarke. Is there something you want to tell me?" Raven said seriously.

"Not particularly," Clarke muttered, not looking at her friend.

"Did you know Bellamy was going to be here?" Raven questioned. Clarke sighed dramatically.

"I might have maybe had a sneaking suspicion that he possibly might show up here," she replied.

"And is that because he comes here often?" Raven pressed. Clarke was not enjoying the line of questioning. She shrugged noncommittally. "Clarke, how about you tell me exactly how bad this is," Raven said gently.

"God," Clarke groaned, knowing Raven wasn't going to let up with her inquisition. "Okay. So I come here every weekend just to see him, but I don't talk to him or anything," she admitted.

"What the hell, Clarke? You broke up with him! Why are you pining over him?" Raven asked.

"I might have maybe realized I made a huge mistake. But it's too late to do anything because he's clearly way over me and so I've just become this pathetic loser who basically stalks her ex because she's still in love with him," Clarke bit back tears as she divulged the last part.

"Oh honey," Raven shook her head, pulling Clarke into a hug. "You'll be okay," Raven assured her. Clarke knew she was right, but it didn't stop her feeling any less hopeless.

"Alright, let's get back out there and pretend you're fine. Show him you don't need him," Raven instructed encouragingly. Clarke nodded and the two girls headed back to the bar to Jasper and Monty. Only when they got there, Monty was the only one there.

"Where's Jasper?" Raven asked. Monty just nodded across the room to where Jasper was chatting up Maya. Raven rolled her eyes. Meanwhile Clarke was using her own eyes to seek out Bellamy. It only took a second to spot him talking to a thin blonde girl. Clarke waited for Anya to inform her of the girls identity.

"Echo," Anya said, right on cue. She poured Clarke another drink, though she hadn't finished her first yet. Bellamy was already pulling Echo out onto the dance floor. Much the same as the week before, Bellamy whispered to Echo and she walked over to the jukebox. Raven jumped up and ran over to the jukebox before Echo could get there.

"What are you doing?" Clarke hissed, but Raven ignored her. She chose her song and it wasn't long before the familiar pop tones of Girls Just Wanna Have Fun blasted through the bar. Raven danced her way back over to Clarke.

"Dance with me, Clarke," she grinned, dragging a reluctant Clarke out on the dance floor. Clarke stood there with her hands over her face as Raven grinded up against her and tried to get her to swing her hips.

"I COME HOME IN THE MIDDLE OF THE LIGHT, MY FATHER SAYS WHAT YOU GONNA DO WITH YOUR NIGHT," Raven sang.

"Those aren't even the words!" Clarke groaned. Raven ignored her.

"Act like you're having a good time," Raven said. "You don't want Bellamy to think you're a pathetic loser do you?"

"Is he watching?" Clarke asked, peeking out from behind her hands. Raven nodded. She grabbed Clarke's hand and spun her around and Clarke couldn't help a grin from spreading on her face. The two girls continued dancing and singing along to the song, while a few people, including Monty, Jasper and Maya, joined them.

"SOME BOYS TAKE A BEAUTIFUL GIRL AND HIDE HER AWAY FROM THE REST OF THE WORLD!" Clarke half sang, half laughed.

"I WANNA BE THE ONE TO WALK ON THE SUN!" Raven continued to get the words wrong. Clarke suspected it was on purpose. She was laughing and having fun, forgetting for a minute why she was even upset to begin with. But the song ended and she glanced over her shoulder to see Echo laughing and running her hand across Bellamy's chest, who was most definitely not hating the attention.

A lump formed in Clarke's throat and tears pricked at her eyes as she pushed past Raven and Monty and headed back to the bar and downed the drink Anya had just poured for her.

"Clarke," Raven caught up with her. "Stop it. If you want him back that badly then stop drinking away your pain and fucking go and tell him."

"Right," Clarke rolled her eyes. She looked back over to Bellamy and saw him walk out of the bar with Echo clinging on to him. Clarke turned back to the bar to see Anya standing right in front of her with a thoughtful look on her face.

"What?" Clarke snapped.

"He told me not to tell you this but…" Anya started.

"He talked to you about me?" Clarke said in surprise. Anya nodded.

"He used to come here all the time before you started coming in here. But he didn't start all the flashy stuff with the girls until you walked in. Last week when you weren't here, he didn't even bother," Anya said. Clarke looked at Raven and Raven nodded at her.

"What the hell are you waiting for?" Raven urged. Clarke realized then that she had nothing to lose and she quickly ran across the bar, her heart pounding, and yanked the door open, hoping Bellamy and Echo hadn't got too far.

She stepped outside just to see a taxi pulling away from the curb. She sighed in disappointment. She knew she'd never have the guts to go after him again. But then, it was probably for the best. She decided she wouldn't come back to the bar again. She turned to go back inside, only to see Bellamy standing behind her.

"Bellamy," she said dumbly. "Where's Echo?"

"What are you doing here Clarke?" he asked, ignoring her question.

"Just… having a drink with friends," Clarke said, her voice too high pitched. She'd lost her nerve the second she saw him standing there, his arms folded, looking somewhat intimidating.

"I know you've been coming here every week. I'm not blind," Bellamy snorted.

"You never said anything," Clarke accused.

"What was I supposed to say?" Bellamy asked her. Clarke shrugged. Okay, now was her only chance to tell him the truth.

"Look… Bellamy, I've been thinking and I…" she started.

"You made a huge mistake and you want me back?" Bellamy guessed, cutting her off mid-sentence. Clarke paused, and studied him cautiously, trying to figure out what he was thinking. She came up short.

"Something like that," she said quietly.

"It's too fucking late Clarke," Bellamy snapped. "You missed your chance." Though half of her had known it already, Bellamy's words still hit her hard. She bit her lip and nodded sadly before turning away, about to head back inside.

"Fuck," she heard Bellamy swear, and was turning her head to see what the problem was when his mouth covered her own and he backed her up against the wall of the bar. Clarke kissed him back without question, though she had a million running through her head. But with his tongue in her mouth and her hands in his hair, her questions could wait.

Bellamy eventually pulled away, groaning as he did so, but before Clarke could ask him anything, he was speaking.

"I shouldn't have done that. I meant what I said okay? It's over between us," he said, answering every question Clarke had been about to ask and crushing her heart in the process.


	2. Chapter 2

**So I deleted this chapter because no one really seemed to like it, but I put it back up again on AO3, I just forgot to do it on here, until someone just asked about it. So here it is!**

Clarke had work the next morning at the local grocery store as a checkout chick, the dullest job she could think of. Plus she had a hangover of the worst sort that even two coffees and a bacon and egg sandwich couldn't fix. She'd just thrown the whole lot up again. Raven had urged her to call in sick, after all she technically was. Clarke doubted the manager would feel the same way though and she dragged herself to work. She was regretting it more and more by the minute.

Clarke groaned and dropped her head into her hands, leaning on the register after a customer walked out. Having a hangover was bad enough. Pretending she was totally fine was much worse. Plus the whole thing with Bellamy was a totally embarrassing disaster. _Don't think about it,_ she scolded herself. It wasn't that easy though, that kiss had brought back two years of memories with Bellamy, and all the other places his mouth had kissed her seemed to tingle every time she thought about it. It was excruciating.

She'd managed to forget the whole ordeal for a while last night while she was roaring drunk. She'd walked back into the bar after watching Bellamy get into a taxi and tear away, intending to grab her bag and leave. But Raven had grabbed her and forced the tale out of her, and an eavesdropping Anya had handed the teary Clarke a shot of tequila.

"On the house," the bartender told her. Several shots later Clarke was singing "I Don't Need a Man" by the Pussycat Dolls and grinding on whoever would dance with her.

Clarke cringed at the memory and groaned into her hands again, a fresh wave of nausea sweeping over her.

"Urgh, I shouldn't be here," she moaned.

"I know, this town sucks right?" a voice startled her and she looked up.

"Octavia?" she straightened up when she saw her ex's sister standing at the counter. Octavia was probably the last person she wanted to see right now. Well, maybe the second last, the first last being Octavia's brother.

"The one and only," the girl winked.

"I kind of meant this store, not this town," Clarke said in response to Octavia's earlier statement.

"Well, it still stands," Octavia shrugged. Clarke looked around for whatever Octavia was buying, hoping to get this interaction over with. Octavia noticed and handed over a bottle of milk.

"I don't really need this, but I told Bell I needed milk and it would look weird if I came back without it," she informed Clarke as Clarke scanned the bottle.

"Okayyy…" Clarke said in confusion. "Why are you here then?"

"To talk to you obviously," Octavia said, handing Clarke the money for the milk. "I was wondering if you wanted to catch up for a drink tonight?" Clarke eyed Octavia suspiciously. Octavia had barely spoken to her since Clarke broke up with her brother over two years ago. Was this going to be another tirade about what a heartless bitch she was for breaking up with Bellamy and not giving him a proper reason?

For the record, she felt she _had_ given him a proper reason. She was at university four hours away. She was going to be a famous artist. She studied under Dante Wallace for crying out loud. _The_ Dante Wallace. She was _going_ places. And Bellamy was holding her back.

But she knew now that her reasons weren't good enough. She'd been selfish and vain. Bellamy wasn't the thing holding her back, her own stupid pride held her back. And now she was stuck in this crap town with a crap job anyway, and she didn't even have Bellamy to comfort her.

"It's nothing bad," Octavia continued, sensing Clarke's hesitance. "I just… haven't seen you in ages," she said lamely. Clarke knew there was something up, and it could only be about Bellamy. But she was kind of intrigued to find out what Octavia wanted to say to her.

"Okay," she agreed. "Anywhere but The Mountain. And my friends are in town so they'll have to come," Clarke said.

"Great!" Octavia beamed, seemingly genuinely. "How about Polis at 8?"

"Fine," Clarke nodded and Octavia skipped out of the store.

* * *

"This place is fancy," Jasper said in awe as the group rocked up outside Polis.

"Why do you think I told you to dress up?" Clarke eyed his jeans and sneakers in disgust.

"Hey, no one told me I needed to back a three piece suit," he gestured to Monty's classy outfit.

"I'm not wearing a vest," Monty pointed out. "It's only a two piece. I'm not even wearing a tie."

"But you're wearing a _shirt_ ," Jasper said in exasperation.

"Jasper, do you even own a suit?" Raven interjected. She had outdone herself on the dressing up front, looking somehow even more beautiful than she had the previous night in a red strapless dress and a classy bun.

"I own a jacket," Jasper said defensively.

"Let's just go in," Clarke interrupted.

Octavia was already there, sitting at the bar waiting for them, with a guy who Clarke could only assume was Octavia's boyfriend. She stood up when she saw Clarke walk in.

"Wow," Jasper breathed when he saw her. Clarke couldn't deny the girl looked stunning, her dark hair was swept over one shoulder to reveal a massive diamond earring, and her dress looked hugged her figure perfectly.

"Clarke, I'm so glad you made it!" Octavia smiled. "This is Lincoln."

"Hi," Clarke said awkwardly. "This is Raven, Monty and Jasper," she introduced. Octavia greeted them and didn't even flinch at Jasper's attire. Octavia was no snob, and it led Clarke to wonder why they were in such a fancy venue. It was really the only nice restaurant in the town and it was where people always went when they were celebrating an engagement or anniversary or something. Clarke had never been in there herself, after all it had only been open a year and Clarke had nothing to celebrate.

"Have you guys eaten? The food here is amazing," Octavia said.

"Food would be great!" Jasper and Monty said in unison.

Octavia led them to a table she'd obviously reserved and a waiter brought them some menus and a bottle of wine, pouring them all glasses. Raven took a sip as she opened the menu and choked on her wine with what she saw.

"Oh don't worry about the prices," Lincoln assured her, immediately understanding her reaction. "I work here. I told the boss it was your birthday Clarke so she told us everything was on the house."

"Oh… um. Thanks?" Clarke managed. She did find it a little strange that this guy she'd never met before, who happened to be the boyfriend of a girl she was sure didn't like her very much, would lie to his boss for her.

"No problem. And may I recommend the steak?" Lincoln smiled. Clarke glanced at Octavia, wondering what the girl was up to, but Octavia just agreed the steak was delicious.

Clarke was anxious the whole way through dinner, wondering what Octavia was going to say to her. They obviously hadn't had a chance to talk privately which was clearly Octavia's intention and Clarke didn't know how much more she could stand of Octavia's sickly sweet manners. Octavia had avoided the topic of Bellamy all night, which could only be on purpose as Clarke knew Octavia adored her brother and would normally tell stories about things the two of them got up to. Clarke felt sick. At least Raven, Jasper and Monty appeared to be having a good time. Clarke watched as Jasper shoved a fancy chocolate brownie into his mouth.

"I need to go to the bathroom," Clarke excused herself suddenly, getting up from the table. She hurried to the ladies room and locked herself in a cubicle. When she came out, Octavia was waiting for her.

"Finally we can talk," Octavia sighed as Clarke washed her hands. "You're friends are cool."

"That's not what we're here to talk about Octavia, can we just get this over with?" Clarke snapped.

"Fine. Look, first I wanted to say I'm sorry for all the stuff I said last time we… talked," Octavia apologized. "I was out of line. It wasn't my business."

"Thanks," Clarke muttered. An apology two years late was better than no apology at all, right?

"Secondly, you and Bellamy have to get back together," Octavia said bluntly. Clarke stared at her for a moment. That was not what she was expecting.

"What?" she said, not sure if she'd heard correctly.

"He's miserable!" Octavia threw her hands up in anguish. "He was only ever happy when he had you. "

"He doesn't want me," Clarke said flatly, trying to ignore the ache in her chest.

"But he always goes to The Mountain on Fridays and Saturdays to see you," Octavia pointed out

"It isn't to see me. We don't even talk. He always takes home some other girl," Clarke said bitterly. She didn't want to talk about Bellamy with other girls. It should be _her_.

"But he only ever mentions you," Octavia said desperately. Clarke could tell she was really concerned for her brother. She wished what Octavia was saying was true.

"Octavia," Clarke looked at the other girl seriously. "It pains me to admit this, but I already _tried_. I talked to him last night and he made it pretty clear it was over," Clarke tried to keep her voice steady as she spoke. _Well, apart from that kiss,_ she amended in her head. She had been _so_ sure when he was kissing her that it was leading somewhere. To his bed would have been nice, back to being his girlfriend would have been even better.

"I _know,_ Clarke," Octavia said.

"You two share way too much," Clarke scowled.

"If you just talk to him, explained… I know he'd take you back," Octavia pleaded.

"He has too much pride," Clarke muttered. "And so do I. I can't ask him again," she shuddered at the thought. The first time was humiliating enough. She turned to leave the bathroom.

"Clarke…" Octavia called after her, but Clarke ignored her. She stepped out of the bathroom only to crash into Raven.

"Clarke!" Raven said, looking frazzled. "Stay in there!"

"What?" Clarke said in confusion. Raven made no move to explain herself so Clarke pushed passed her in exasperation and headed towards the table. Two seconds later she wished she were back in the bathroom, because standing at the bar talking to Lincoln was Bellamy.

Clarke instinctively looked over her shoulder, only to see Octavia standing behind her looking rather guilty and Raven wearing a look of concern. Clarke gave them both a contemptuous glare before returning her eyes to the bar. Bellamy hadn't noticed her yet but she knew it wouldn't be long, and she couldn't leave without walking past the bar.

He was dressed up in suit pants and a jacket, and he was laughing at some joke Lincoln was telling, his eyes crinkling in amusement. Clarke's stomach dropped and she wished she go up to him and wrap her arms around him, kiss him and then have him take her home and make love to her.

She stood frozen, staring at him, unable to go over and yet unable to retreat. Octavia brushed past Clarke then and Bellamy looked up from his conversation. His face darkened when he saw Clarke standing there. He shot an accusatory look at his sister.

"What's she doing here?" he spat. Clarke flinched. He must really hate her.

"Bellamy, just listen to her," Octavia tried.

" _Listen_ to her?" Bellamy hissed. "Octavia, who's side are you on?"

"I'm on _your_ side, you know that. I'm always on your side!" Octavia said defensively. "Which is why you and Clarke need to just talk, because-," she continued, but Bellamy cut her off.

"I'm done talking," Bellamy said flatly. He looked at Clarke stonily before striding out of the bar. Before Clarke could stop herself, she was running after him.

"Bellamy wait!" she yelled down the street, her voice breaking under the strain. Amazingly, Bellamy actually stopped. He slowly turned around to face her but didn't come any closer. He looked at her expectantly.

"I'm sorry!" Clarke sobbed, the tears finally winning out. Bellamy seemed about to step towards her but he stopped himself. Instead he looked away from her, unable to meet her gaze. Clarke wasn't discouraged. "I was wrong, okay? I should never have broken up with you. I've been a total idiot. I miss you so much, and all that shit I said about you holding me back was a load of crap. My life is _nothing_ without you," she was fully crying now, the words spewing out and she couldn't stop them if she tried. She needed to get it out, and she wanted so badly for him to hear it.

"Please give me a second chance," she whimpered, taking a step towards him.

"I don't see why I should," Bellamy said finally, his voice thick. He didn't sound angry anymore, but he still wouldn't look at her.

"Because I love y-," Clarke started.

"Don't!" Bellamy cut her off. "I don't want to hear it." He turned to go.

"Bellamy!" Clarke called again, still unable to give up. If he could just _remember,_ like she could, how good they were together. "Remember how you said-," she tried but Bellamy interrupted her again.

"Remember how you said 'Bellamy, I need some space to think about what I want from my life'? Remember how you said 'Bellamy, I can't have a boyfriend tying me down.'? 'I'm going places, Bell, and I'm planning my life, and you aren't in it.' Remember that?" Bellamy said acidly. Clarke nodded, her eyes brimming with tears again.

"And remember," Bellamy's voice cracked and Clarke thought she saw tears in his eyes too, "how I begged you to stay? And how I said I'd do _anything._ But you left anyway. And you probably don't remember the ache I felt in my chest for months, and how many times I almost picked up the phone to call you, but I thought better of it, because even though I needed you, _you_ didn't need _me,_ and how I thought I was going to _die_ without you. But I remember," Bellamy choked out. Clarke felt sick again at how she had treated him. She wanted to make it better. She wanted to kiss him and tell him she would never leave him again. But she didn't have that right.

"So you don't get to come back here and pick up where we left off, okay?" Bellamy told her, his voice trembling. "Because everything's different now." He turned to go again, and Clarke didn't stop him this time. She turned around to see her friends standing there, looking at her in concern, and she realised they'd witnessed the whole thing. She burst into tears again and they took her inside for a drink.

* * *

They somehow ended up at The Mountain again, Octavia and Lincoln included, and Octavia shouted them a round of drinks. Clarke didn't feel much like drinking. She didn't feel much like doing anything, except going home, crawling into bed and staying there for eternity. But her friends were nothing if not persistent. They managed to get Clarke dancing half-heartedly, but she snuck off back to the bar when they weren't paying attention. Anya handed her a drink.

"So what happened?" Anya asked.

"What do you care? We aren't friends," Clarke pointed out.

"I'm a bartender, it's my job to pretend to care," Anya shrugged.

"Well, you aren't very good at it," Clarke sniffed, thinking of all the times Anya mocked her.

"You know you aren't the only person who's ever had a broken heart before, Clarke," Anya said gently, pouring herself a drink. Clarke raised an eyebrow quizzically, wondering if Anya was about to have a heart to heart with her. Was Anya even allowed to drink on the job? Anya caught Clarke's expression.

"Relax, I'm not going to tell you my life story," Anya rolled her eyes. "But I am going to give you some advice. You fucked up, bad."

"That's not advice," Clarke glared at the bartender.

"I wasn't done yet," Anya snapped. "I was going to say, even though you fucked up, that man somehow still loves you. Even I can see it. All your friends can see it. Everyone in this bar can see it when he comes in here and he's pretending to be interested in other girls, but he comes back after you've left to drown in his sorrows."

"He does?" Clarke asked skeptically. Anya nodded. "So what's your advice then?" Clarke asked desperately. She'd take anything at this point.

"Just… don't give up," Anya said.

"Don't give up? That's it?" Clarke snorted. Some help Anya was.

"He just wants you to suffer a bit," Anya said knowingly.

"Right," Clarke said flatly, not knowing whether or not to take Anya's advice.

* * *

Bellamy walked all the way home from Polis that night, needing the fresh air to clear his head. Had he said too much? Had he gone too far? He'd managed to walk away before he started crying, because he could _not_ let Clarke know how much she still got to him. It taken everything in him not to go to her and hold her when she started crying. He _hated_ seeing her upset. But he hated what she'd done to him more, and she didn't deserve his forgiveness.

He cursed Octavia for setting him up like that. She'd been there when it all fell to pieces, she _knew_ what he'd been through. And she'd have him go through that again? Some sister she was.

And maybe it was true that Bellamy hadn't really cheered up since Clarke left. And maybe it was true that he still hurt when he thought about her, which was often. And that he was still in love with her like he always had been.

He should have stopped going to the bar when he'd first seen her there. It was all a big mistake. But he was angry, and he wanted to show her that he didn't need her (even though he felt like he really did). But he could never bring himself to carry through with the girls he flirted with. He couldn't have sex with them knowing he'd be thinking of Clarke the whole time. He'd done it a few times before, and he always felt guilty the next day.

Bellamy's phone rang as he unlocked his front door.

"Sup?" he answered.

"Sup? Really?" Octavia replied. He could hear rap music and voices in the background. She clearly wasn't still at Polis.

"Where are you?" he wondered.

"The Mountain," Octavia answered. "We're getting druuuuunk!" she cheered.

"Why did you call me?" Bellamy asked in exasperation. He just wanted to go to bed.

"Talk to her Bellamy," Octavia pleaded.

"No."

"Just… coffee or something. Get some closure. I'm really worried about you," Octavia said gently. Bellamy sighed. When did Octavia start acting like such a reasonable adult? He knew he should talk to Clarke. Have a proper conversation instead of a teary yelling match in the street. But his stomach churned at the thought. How could he face her now? What could he even say.

"Please, Bell? I'll set it up. Coffee tomorrow. Somewhere neutral so you can just leave if you get upset again," Octavia continued.

"I'm not upset," Bellamy lied.

"Bell?" Octavia waited for his response.

"Fine," he agreed.

* * *

Clarke walked into the café nervously. How Octavia had talked her into this she'd never know. She was certain she'd just end up crying again and feeling worse than before. But Anya had said don't give up. And surely it must be a good sign that Bellamy had actually agreed to talk to her.

She glanced around the café. He wasn't there yet. She wasn't sure if this was a relief or a disappointment. She ordered a coffee and sat down at a table to wait.

Clarke froze when he walked in. It didn't take him long to spot her and he walked up to her and sat down, his expression unreadable. She noticed he sat _next_ to her. Not across from her so that there was the most possible distance between them, but next to her. Clarke's heart skipped a beat.

"Hi," she said nervously.

"Hey," he responded. Well, that was a good start.

"Look, I-," Clarke started, not even sure what she was about to say. She just needed to say _something._

"Do you mind if I go first?" Bellamy interrupted.

"Oh. Sure," Clarke agreed. He'd obviously thought this through and planned what he was going to say, unlike her.

"I'm sorry for what I said last night. I just… you have to know, you really hurt me when you left. And I know you're sorry now but sorry doesn't just take back everything that happened you know?" Bellamy explained. Clarke nodded in understanding. She knew she couldn't just fix all the mistakes she'd made in a couple of days. What she needed from him was time to make it up to him.

"I know, Bellamy. I'm not asking you to magically forgive me, or pretend like it never happened. I just… I want you in my life again. I miss you. I just need a second chance to show you how much I lo-… care about you," she told him. Bellamy stared at her, his eyes boring into her and she inadvertently glanced at his lips. _No, Clarke,_ she scolded herself, _you just told him you wanted to take things slow._

"Okay," Bellamy said. Clarke wasn't sure she'd heard him correctly.

"Okay?" she questioned.

"Contrary to popular belief, I don't hate you Clarke. I miss you too," he admitted. Clarke couldn't help a grin from spreading over her face. "Don't look so happy, I haven't forgiven you yet," Bellamy warned.

"Right sorry," Clarke tried to wipe the smile off her face but she couldn't seem to manage it. _I've got a second chance!_

Bellamy rolled his eyes at her beaming face and picked up a packet of sugar and threw it at her.

"Hey!" Clarke cried. Bellamy smirked.

"Since you're trying to earn my forgiveness, I'm allowed to throw as many packets of sugar at you as I want," Bellamy informed her. Clarke couldn't believe what she was hearing. Was he actually joking with her?

"Oh yeah?" Clarke smirked challengingly. She picked up the packet of sugar he'd thrown, ripped it open and stood up to sprinkle it in his hair.

"Hey, what do you think you're doing?" he scowled, shaking his head, causing sugar to fly everywhere.

"Putting sugar in your hair," Clarke said matter-of-factly. She reached for another packet of sugar but Bellamy grabbed her wrist.

"I don't think so," he said, standing up. He towered over her and she looked up at him, excruciatingly conscious of his sudden proximity and his grip on her wrist. She tried and failed to stop her mind from conjuring up images of him pulling her against him and kissing her.

Bellamy's gaze lingered on her lips and her breath caught in her throat for a moment. _Kiss me,_ she willed him. He was obviously thinking about it.

To her disappointment he stepped back and let go of her wrist, swallowing hard.

"I should go," he croaked. Clarke couldn't bring herself to reply. "I'll see you around, Clarke."

* * *

"And then we kind of had a moment and I really thought he might kiss me but instead he just said he'd see me around," Clarke told Raven over the phone.

"Well, I mean that's better than what he was saying last night, right?" Raven replied.

"Yeah, I guess," Clarke sighed.

"Clarke, what's wrong?" Raven asked. "You got what you wanted."

"Right," Clarke agreed. "Except I didn't really. I don't _want_ to take things slow. I just said that so he'd be more accepting."

"Okay, but now you just have to wait and see how things pan out," Raven advised.

"Uh huh," Clarke responded noncommittally.

"Clarke?" Raven said suspiciously.

"Yeah, Raven, I have to go," Clarke told her, ending the call. Clarke bit her lip thoughtfully. She had barely stopped thinking about her almost-kiss with Bellamy all afternoon, and it was driving her crazy. How could she possibly take things slow when she was so madly in love with him? Who knew how long it would take him to forgive her? Weeks? Months? Years?

She grabbed her phone and her keys and ran out of the house. She was probably making the worst decision of her life. Well, the second worst. The first worst was breaking up with Bellamy in the first place.

She was kind of in a daze as she drove to Bellamy's house, and all of a sudden she was on his street, then she was at his house, on his doorstep, then she was ringing the door bell and she knew she was crazy, but she couldn't stop now.

He opened the door and only seemed slightly surprised to see her. He opened his mouth to speak but she stopped him.

"I don't want to take things slow," she blurted. She was breathing heavily like she'd run the whole way there. "I love you. I loved you this whole time-," she could have gone on and on but Bellamy interjected.

"I don't want to take things slow either," he told her. Before Clarke could register what he'd said he was pulling her inside, his lips finding hers and she kissed him back greedily. Her arms wrapped around his neck and she pulled herself closer to him, breathing him in, like she could lose him at any second.

"I love you," he whispered. Clarke nearly cried with happiness.


End file.
